Something I’d tell myself? Don’t jump.
Tag: irish writer
The Day He Died
To my left, I see low hanging clouds, pinched by an orange sky like the hills are on fire.
To my right, a dynamic bay, passively blue, with dockland bells ringing like church chimes as seagulls roam dully above.
Behind me the floor is sprinkled with glass like un-cut diamonds in sand and with doors shut so harshly that the wood shocked and splintered into frame.
I focus on the colony of seagulls swooping that bay, their soft faraway grace reminding me of a dule of doves I once witnessed swimming the air over a jagged graveyard – flurrying, folding and flickering like a slender woman’s fingers melodising a harp.
But the harp stings and the seagulls are shot to the ground.
I lower my gaze to the tarmac road decorated with fallen Autumn leaves gracing it like summertime freckles.
The steel barrier of the balcony suddenly vibrates into boneless fluidity. Stunned, I witness motionlessly it pulsate impossibly, bending wetly into itself, then stretching out to restrictive normality. I blankly watch this happen in front of me, absent of any explanation. I begin to feel a natural unease as I observe the strangeness, a threatening feeling, a caution of danger, an activation of reaction. My heart rate becomes seemingly emphatic, inescapably stressing attention to the anxiety poking through any previous sense of calm – fucking acupuncture to a balloon.
As the build up continues its ascension – my realisation that the barrier is without doubt, de-stricting itself, I reflexively shut my eyes and the darkness then trumps all. After a few moments of lull, I hesitantly stretch my arm to touch and pleasurably find I have gripped something immobile, perfectly horizontal. I relieve my sight which triggers a feeling of detoxification in me as my body ceases its native panic. With my arm still closed around the cold barrier I lift my view to the greatest phasm of wonder, weightless square of frigid pressure above, the sky – beautifully undeniable and powerfully inexhaustible. But blink by blink, I notice a slow discolouring right in its bare middle. A steam of breath escapes me as I deliberate against my sight with confusion – I blink faster – and there – a deepening chasm – a bruised purple fathoms, like internal damage or leakage – I rub my eyes in disbelief but through the resulting fuzz now behold a sincere gash slashing straight through the sky, its thick carmine stem dressed with buzz cut dashes branching off its mother carve like nerves to a spine.
I shuckle away in horror, cloaking my eyes from natures dislaw. In a desperate seek for comfort I cover my ears and gently hum to myself old lullabies, furiously willing myself to conceptualise love – continuity, life. It is there that I create a peace to find – within the knowledge of resourcefulness, the essence that life like energy is indestructible.
Blindly and turned away, I reach for the bar again over my back. I flimsily catch it with gratitude and allow my full weight to depend on it. Then I pet my hand along it, ensuring again its unit until I am satisfied that my sight is mad and senses rebelling, the ordinary not lithesome, the sky not wounded.
But when I open my eyes the sky is gushing, raining blood drops from its open trauma having mercilessly expanded as though a giant scalpel had gradually etched from hand to elbow, the hills flaring as a ravaging fire lashes their surface and roars to me as it, with intentions of a monster, consumes its way to me – the water of the bay high and rising and now a glistering scarlet, a burning pink under a seeping rose sky, Ravens above dropping from their panicked flight in one by ones
Attending the mixing chaos, I hope I am mad. I hope my lover remains alive in a world far from here. I hope my brothers survive. I hope that with what is left of them, they find what has been lost
Take It Slow
I get so tired
Soul ignites
Fingers get hot
Sound gets washed
Summer, time
Blonde divine
Chevrolet
Cruise this way
And
Take it slow,
Slow on me
You know you’ve got no moral line,
Swear you had it out for me,
Take it slow,
Slow on me
Carousel connives with time,
We have caught infinity,
So take it slow
And
Cool down
Cool right down
Hepehastus take the heat we share
Hammer on the anvil
Let me breathe
Taste my dreams
Light by step
Hydro wet
Gren,a,dine
Swift slip stream
Acura
Bashful star
Sugar lime,
Soaking thyme
Ease the rhyme, ease the rhyme
And
Take it slow,
Slow on me
You know you’ve got no moral line,
Swear you had it out for me,
Take it slow,
Slow on me
Carousel connives with time,
We have caught infinity,
So take it slow
Cool down
Cool right down
….
Electrolytes electrify,
By the Burmese ruby gline,
Delectable silver ring shine
…
Feel so young
Sweet and young
….
Summer came to testify,
Springs water and Autumns sky,
Fruited all the parched rhye
….
Take it slow
Coffins Full Of Blood
We tried to love everything and it all died anyway
We didn’t try to run but escaped anyway
Everything not saved was lost
Here we are, there we are, where we are
We tried to curl but we couldn’t bend that way
We didn’t try to curve but got moved that way
Everyone not loved was lost
Be they dead, are we dead, were we dead
Bodies stuck in the sky
Dream catcher
We’re stuck on the ground
Heart snapper
I think my sisters are dead
But my brothers are all good
We dug up all the graves
The coffins full of blood
We sprinted through the streets
We fractured through the forest
And on the highest ground
We watched the end of the world
We decided to run when the night turned red
We had decided to repent, but we were red
All of us woke, the only awake
They can’t get up, they won’t get up, they’re not one of us
We decided to search but we found nothing
We had decided to excurse, but nothing
All of it wasted, dissolving
Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Apocalypse
It’s a blood moon every night
Heart shaped
Our skin glows scarlet
Dream raped
I think my sisters are dead
But my brothers are all good
We dug up all the graves
The coffins full of blood
We sprinted through the streets
We fractured through the forest
And on the highest ground
We watched the end of the world
Everything crumbles as I walk I’ll never be here again
The world I delved into dissipates
The sacrifices I have made
Go to heaven with a smile on your face
I’ll be lost
We know it’s ending it’s ending we know it’s ending feel it ending, it’s ending
Just keep running keep running it’s running we’re running it’s ending we’re running
World is ending and the world is on fire the world is ending trees on fire
It’s the end of the world
Ice-Knife
Tip,
Carve,
Cleaver.
Ice Knife.
Foal Heart.
Wicked swipe.
You pulled out
A piece of glacier.
Ice Knife. You pushed
This piece into my chest
Kept it there until I froze.
Held it there I turned cold. You.
Then you left me on this white cliff.
How can hugs so warm, lips so wet, be ice.
Louder – Break
What I think.
More? Deeper
Into the drink.
You don’t love me.
Your afflcition
Brought me
To the most
Beautiful, most
Devastating place
I have ever been.
You are my Weapon
Of Choice.
Back To You
I’m older now, but I’m still wrong
I’m bolder now, I’ve still lost
Let me cry into midnight blue
I’ll find a way back to you
Find a way back to you
Find way back to you
Back, to, you
Step by, step once step back
Allow it in before you let it go
For its final time pretend it will be okay,
That it wont be gone alone
Step by, step once step back
It’s sorry you can’t see it anymore
Its given in to whats to be done
Pain took its life and it took you too
Stand by, stand tall stand up
Allow me in before you let me go
For his final time pretend he will be okay,
That he wont be gone alone
Stand up, stand tall stand strong
He’s sorry you can’t see him anymore
He’s given in to what he’s become
Pain took his life and it took yours too
And I’m falling, deeper than I’ve been before
And I’m sinking, lower than I’ve been before
Step by, step once, Step back
Falling down, deeper than I’ve been before
Stand by, stand tall, stand up
Sinking down, deeper than I’ve been before
Step by
Back to you
Step once
Back to you
Step back
Back to you
Stand by
Back to you
Stand tall
Back to you
Stand up
Back to you
Step Back
Back to you