March 2018 – Leo Grey

I’m older now, but I’m still wrong

I’m bolder now, I’ve still lost

Let me cry into midnight blue

I’ll find a way back to you

Find a way back to you

Find way back to you

Back, to, you

Step by, step once step back

Allow it in before you let it go

For its final time pretend it will be okay,

That it wont be gone alone

Step by, step once step back

It’s sorry you can’t see it anymore

Its given in to whats to be done

Pain took its life and it took you too

Stand by, stand tall stand up

Allow me in before you let me go

For his final time pretend he will be okay,

That he wont be gone alone

Stand up, stand tall stand strong

He’s sorry you can’t see him anymore

He’s given in to what he’s become

Pain took his life and it took yours too

And I’m falling, deeper than I’ve been before

And I’m sinking, lower than I’ve been before

Step by, step once, Step back

Falling down, deeper than I’ve been before

Stand by, stand tall, stand up

Sinking down, deeper than I’ve been before

Step by

Back to you

Step once

Back to you

Step back

Back to you

Stand by

Back to you

Stand tall

Back to you

Stand up

Back to you

Step Back

Back to you

You don’t understand loneliness until you’ve exhausted someone who was nearly in love with you to the point of abandonment..

Arch my angels

White light..Late night…

Stepson…

I’M NOT

Snowdrop Cliff

My love may melt the snow here

“The snow is the cliff, my dear”

I have loved and lost a life here

“The life was never yours to lose, my dear”

I have come to leave my life here

“Don’t leave yourself because everyone else does, my dear”

Death and other angels

All weep in this spot

Edge of the cliff?

Worn and strained love

Love

Love…

(FLORENCE)

I’M NOT

Snowdrop Cliff

My snow may melt the love here

“You’re part of what you fear, my dear”

I have lost the life I loved here

“You’re looking in the wrong places, my dear”

I have left to come to life here

“Remember everything you’ve learned so far, my dear”

(Don’t mind if we never go)

(Never go home)

Fall into cloud

Sunder into shroud

Fall into The Grey

The snow city is so far away

(FLORENCE)

I’M NOT

LIAR

Fall into cloud

I’M NOT

Sunder into shroud

I’M NOT

Fall into The Grey

I’M NOT COMING BACK

The snow city is so far away

“I’M NOT COMING BACK FOR YOU”

…

The worst thing about leaving is nobody looking for you

Never let me go

It’s time to dye this snow red. Pour us into this cliff where our essence is strongest anyways. I’m here to empty you out of me. I’m here to empty us out of me.

All of the lies. When you said you would stop lying. You tried to, I know that.

You can’t force love.

“Can I disentangle us?” I wrote. You certainly weren’t there to. The fights we had, you’d vanish, gone, for days on end. You didn’t seem to care.

The breakups where you always expressed a desire to stay broken up. And I pushed for us.

I can’t force love.

The names you called me. The way you acted when you got drunk. “I’m sorry. I was flirting with him.” The promises you broke.

I trusted you with a bonding promise. I implored you to never break a promise while my hand held yours.

You broke them.

The memories. I helped you change environments – workspace, friends. I kept you alert, on your toes. I helped you tell your father you loved him on new years eve.

The standalone pieces of my heart, my heart, that I thought I’d found when I found you

I broke them.

Count yourself lucky that you aren’t stuck remembering all of the light times. I count you lucky that you get to act a fool and a victim after everything you’ve done to me.

I have never been easy, nor have I been clean, but I have and always will be a sacrificial, loyal and healing spirit. You, the only person to ever say different, cannot take that from me.

Snowdrop Cliff, I know who I am, I know where I stand.

I will never write about you again.

Month: March 2018

Back To You

Snowdrop Cliff