Tainted

Carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
Carry the weight of the whole world on my shoulders,
Because I refuse to let any of it go
Find it hard to let things go

We were both so dedicated
To keep what we had from fading
Dedicated to the loving memory
But our love is tainted

Like a painting
Of sun and song we had created
Wouldn’t waste it,
Our illustration
But our love is tainted

Our hands are made for holding
Our hands are made for holding, not building
Hands too dirty to clean the canvas

But we were both so dedicated
To keep what we had from fading
Dedicated to the loving memory
Our love is tainted

Like a painting
Of sun and song we had created
Wouldn’t waste it,
Our illustration
But our love is tainted

But dedicated,
We were so dedicated
To keep the hearts from breaking
Keeping things in their places
Afraid of changes
So dedicated
But our love is tainted

The road we’re on is so unstable,
Our love is tainted
This road’s unstable,
Our love is tainted
Keep the hearts from breaking,
Never waste it, our creation,
Is tainted
Wish I could change it,
Our love is tainted

The Feed

Yeah my tracks are still fucking bitter
Epiphany being such a hard hitter
I had my tongue on the lips of that bullshitter
More over I slopped up the residue of the lies he left behind
Move over I gained the right to leave the questions unsigned

Oh I smoothed over every single edge and then wounded myself up from all the kicks and scratches, I, was far from selfish
And to think this brute had a fix on me like a chunk of drain hair that clogged up in my throat
To think he kept his foot down on me underwater so I couldn’t float
Like he was captain of the boat,
Guider of the road

Gave in and bitched out
Gave up the moon in my blackout,
I stuck around, yeah, I stuck around
I wiped his hands clean when he smeared up on my own fruit,
Collected his wishes and wore em like armbands in a pool of false truths
Held onto his hypocrisy and became too confused to reboot

Yeah my tracks are still fucking bitter
Epiphany being such a hard hitter
I had my tongue on the lips of that bullshitter
More over I slopped up the residue of the lies he left behind
Move over I gained the right to leave the questions unsigned

Oh I rounded up all his inner conflicts like rogue guns and it took me too long to realise I was the target range
And to think I had this boar on a throne like a clapped fool using a guillotine as a pillow
To think I played right into his arms
Like I was a pig on his farm,
Something to harm

Gave in and bitched out
Gave up the moon in my blackout,
I stuck around, yeah, I stuck around
I wiped his hands clean when he smeared up on my own fruit,
Collected his wishes and wore em like armbands in a pool of false truths
Held onto his hypocrisy and became too confused to reboot
He wrecked on
My dignity when he questioned my integrity
By reassuring his barbarity
It was my own reason burning out

Yeah my tracks are still fucking bitter
Empathy being such a hard hitter
I held my tongue on the grips of that bullshitter
More over I slopped up the residue of the lies he left behind
Move over I gained the right to leave the questions unsigned

 

Guns and Suits

Hood down, slouched, that’s how he walked
Great aim, accuracy, that’s how he shot
Guns and suits, his lifetime collection
Life consisting of riots and retaliation

 

He loved me half to death
He hated me the rest
But he could never walk away he swore, he confessed
I was a
Lifetime of mysterious complications
He wore a
Black tux, white cuffs, correlation

 

Guns and suits
Immaculate, and he’s sayin’
Guns and suits
Head bent, shoulders back and – and I’m hopin’
He’s gonna
Kiss me, baby hit me with the trepidation
Rough lips, hard kiss, he’s a constellation
Eyes tight, lips wide and – and I’m lovin’
His guns and suits, yeah
Guns and suits
Guns and suits, baby
Guns and suits

 

He walks around high, pistol in his back pocket
Got a python and a trooper in his tux socket
Police are watchin’ and he’s smilin’ and he’s thinkin’ fuck it
He wants a
Bullet show, homicidal knife party
I wanna
Jazz song, and a blood storm in the lobby

 

Guns and suits
Immaculate, and he’s sayin’
Guns and suits
Head bent, shoulders back and – and I’m hopin’
He’s gonna
Kiss me, baby hit me with the trepidation
Rough lips, hard kiss, he’s a constellation
Eyes tight, lips wide and – and I’m lovin’
His guns and suits, yeah
Guns and suits
Guns and suits, baby
Guns and suits

 

His short black hair, the smoke from his cigarette
The way he squints as he studies me in depth
Makes me feel protected with an arm around my shoulder
I like ’em older

 

Guns and suits
Immaculate, and he’s sayin’
Guns and suits
Head bent, shoulders back and – and I’m hopin’
He’s gonna
Kiss me, baby hit me with the trepidation
Rough lips, hard kiss, he’s a constellation
Eyes tight, lips wide and – and I’m lovin’
His guns and suits, yeah
Guns and suits
Guns and suits, baby
Guns and suits

 

Written in 2015.

 

Sweet Tralee

The soil’s as fresh as honey
The finches choir in the trees
Where the flowers grow
Oh the fuchsia that spring in Tralee

They buried a man with his dog
The son sang the widow a song
They’re crying for peace,
In fields of red and green
Oh, what happened in sweet Tralee?

The Irish still drink in Tralee
Their dogs all chained to the trees
There’s a cold in the breeze,
And the hounds they will freeze
Because the men want a drink in Tralee

The children are out grabbing thorns
They’d be safe to their mothers they swore
But they’re watching their das,
And it’s sure they will catch
The curse of the thirst those men bore

Their nails are soil-free
But the hands that serve us aren’t clean
The oaths are all fake,
It’s the money they take,
Agus na Gaeilge, abash by the sea

Full Body Madness

My veins, vibrate
To a sound I don’t create
Went to the doctor couldn’t take me further…
Full Body Madness
This is what happened

Maybe it’s cancer causing my psychosis
Slaving me up whether I do or don’t know it
Silhouettes screaming on bridges…
Full Body Madness
Most are distracted

{‘Ghost of Threes’ E-Guitar chords}

– MOMENTS that disturb the destruction
I’m anti-fire
Pro-burn

Incapable of loving anything that wasn’t chaotic
If it wasn’t sending me over the edge I couldn’t want it
Flicking the elastic band of suicide…
Full Body Madness
In Latin it’s practiced

I don’t know what I’m holding on to but I’m losing grip
The sensation that my spine will slip
“I don’t feel like I have a big brother anymore”
Ellie I don’t think you do either
My match is lit as she smells the ether

{Ghost of Threes}

– MOMENTS that disturb the destruction
I’m anti-fire
Pro-burn

THESE MELANCHOLIC VIOLINS HAVE BEEN SCREECHING EVER SINCE

– MOMENTS that disturb the destruction
I’m anti-fire
Pro-burn

THESE MELANCHOLIC VIOLINS HAVE BEEN SCREECHING EVER SINCE
{Ghost of Threes}
Psychotic // Narcotic // Dementia Praecox
Hydroponic // Symphonic // Catatonic // Melodic
Entropy // Catastrophe
Degeneracy // Cardinality
Blasphemy // Illegitimacy
Ox-Trinity // Extremity

Polycene, vx liquored, wet-defect

AND I REALLY WANT TO TASTE KEROSENE
AND I REALLY WANT TO BATHE IN CYANIDE
“Consent is tricky in a relationship”

My Nitric Rhetoric
{Ghost of Threes}
A psychotic, narcotic, dementia praecox
A hydroponic is symphonic is catatonic is melodic
The following degeneracy warped cardinality
The blasphemy resides in illegitimacy
My ox-trinity in its full powered extremity

Polycene, vx liquored, wet-defect

What’s the matter with my love
Mountain tip on my hair split
What’s the matter with my love
It’s in my head, in my head
What’s the matter with my love
Rubbing picric on my skin
What’s the matter with my love
Day goes black, night goes red
What’s the matter with my love
I know to run, don’t know why
What’s the matter with my love
Day goes black, lights go red
Soil goes black, sky goes red
Day goes black, lights go red

Take It Slow

I get so tired

Soul ignites

Fingers get hot

Sound gets washed

Summer, time

Blonde divine

Chevrolet

Cruise this way

 

And

 

Take it slow,

Slow on me

You know you’ve got no moral line,

Swear you had it out for me,

Take it slow,

Slow on me

Carousel connives with time,

We have caught infinity,

So take it slow

 

And

 

Cool down

Cool right down

Hepehastus take the heat we share

Hammer on the anvil

 

Let me breathe

Taste my dreams

Light by step

Hydro wet

Gren,a,dine

Swift slip stream

Acura

Bashful star

 

Sugar lime,

Soaking thyme

Ease the rhyme, ease the rhyme

 

And

 

Take it slow,

Slow on me

You know you’ve got no moral line,

Swear you had it out for me,

Take it slow,

Slow on me

Carousel connives with time,

We have caught infinity,

So take it slow

 

Cool down

Cool right down

….

Electrolytes electrify,

By the Burmese ruby gline,

Delectable silver ring shine

Feel so young

Sweet and young

….

Summer came to testify,

Springs water and Autumns sky,

Fruited all the parched rhye

….

Take it slow

Painting Rain

You left, put between us miles
You left, took it all, left me bare
I’ve been painting rain, on bathroom tiles
Four walls and a bed, you’re gone and I’m here
Just me and my pen,
When you’re gone I’m not there
With nothing to feel
I just feel

You’re gone and I’m here
I’ll be painting rain
When you’re gone I’m not there
I’ll be painting rain
I’ll be painting rain

It’s time to leave this house
I need to get fucking out
Breathe in fresh air, poison it with despair
I am the fleshed damage you left behind
I am the vacant expression on the marble tile
I make them cry, I made you cry

You’re gone and I’m here
I’ll be painting rain
When you’re gone I’m not there
I’ll be painting rain
I’ll be painting rain

I’ve coloured every hall
In these blue raindrops
I’ve coloured all my walls
In these big raindrops
They’re painted on the floor
Where I write when I’m sore
They’re painted on the doors
Because my love is no more

Every night and day
I’ll be painting rain
Painting rain

Every night and day
I’ll be painting rain
Painting rain

Every night and day
I’ll be painting rain
Painting rain

Every night and day
I’ll be painting rain
Painting rain

Every night and day
I’ll be painting rain
Painting rain

 

(Painting: ‘Rain In The Field’ by Natalia Limanenko.)

Water Like Fireworks

I’ve decided against answers

Rather sit crossed-legged

And laugh at my own laughter

– So I retract from questions

Never wonder why

Learned to count my blessings

 

(Hopesand)

 

Water Like Fireworks

Tingling triangles and tinkling harps

Nothing as soft, nothing is sharp

He has my wonder, has my fun, he has my heart

 

(Safesound)

 

Canopy of frost tipped bluebells

That top the spring scented hills

Tip toeing on piano tiles

There his son, there his bride

 

Water Like Fireworks

Tingling triangles and tinkling harps

Nothing as soft, nothing is sharp

He has my wonder, has my fun, he has my heart

(Hopesand)

 

Diamondis sprinkle

His heart strings never finkle

 

(Safesound)

 

Water Like Fireworks

Tingling triangles and tinkling harps

Nothing as soft, nothing is sharp

He has my wonder, has my fun, he has my heart

 

(Hopesand)

 

Wetlands (Diamondis sprinkle)

Waterlands (Heart strings never finkle)

Water Like Fireworks (Fly On)

Water Like Fireworks (Fly On)

Bursting Droplets

 

(Safesound)

Coffins Full Of Blood

We tried to love everything and it all died anyway
We didn’t try to run but escaped anyway
Everything not saved was lost
Here we are, there we are, where we are

We tried to curl but we couldn’t bend that way
We didn’t try to curve but got moved that way
Everyone not loved was lost
Be they dead, are we dead, were we dead

Bodies stuck in the sky
Dream catcher
We’re stuck on the ground
Heart snapper

I think my sisters are dead
But my brothers are all good
We dug up all the graves
The coffins full of blood
We sprinted through the streets
We fractured through the forest
And on the highest ground
We watched the end of the world

We decided to run when the night turned red
We had decided to repent, but we were red
All of us woke, the only awake
They can’t get up, they won’t get up, they’re not one of us

We decided to search but we found nothing
We had decided to excurse, but nothing
All of it wasted, dissolving
Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Apocalypse

It’s a blood moon every night
Heart shaped
Our skin glows scarlet
Dream raped

I think my sisters are dead
But my brothers are all good
We dug up all the graves
The coffins full of blood
We sprinted through the streets
We fractured through the forest
And on the highest ground
We watched the end of the world

Everything crumbles as I walk I’ll never be here again
The world I delved into dissipates
The sacrifices I have made
Go to heaven with a smile on your face
I’ll be lost

We know it’s ending it’s ending we know it’s ending feel it ending, it’s ending
Just keep running keep running it’s running we’re running it’s ending we’re running
World is ending and the world is on fire the world is ending trees on fire
It’s the end of the world

Liam

Oh Liam,

The times I’ve wanted to text you

Thought I might end up with you

Certainly wanted to,

Don’t think I deserved you

 

Couldn’t have been more clear-cut

High fives that end in a hug

A smile over a coffee cup

 

Should’ve asked you out,

Don’t know what that was all about

I think I nearly did –

But then you got sick –

And what I wanted for you became not me

But for you to realise everything you could be

 

Lee-Yum

You’re as beautiful as the words that you sing uh-m

Lee-Yum

You mean so much to me, oh

Liam

Never give up(,) no matter (what) you see, love

 

I never had the chance to meet you,

But I can’t deny I’ve seen you,

Certainly wanted to,

Really didn’t mean to

 

Faint smell of felt and lead in the air,

Blue eyes and auburn facial hair,

A voice as soft as is fair,

 

I wish that I had asked you out,

So long as you had heard me out,

I think we could’ve worked it out…

I was so worried when you got sick,

Felt the block of cyber, slip,

Worried about you everyday(yuh)

 

Lee-Yum

You’re as beautiful as the words you sing-um

Lee-Yum

You mean so much to me, oh

Liam

Never give up(,) no matter (what) you see, love

 

Oh, Liam

You’re exactly what this world needs-um (Liam)

Because you’d NEVER give up on ME-no(ah) (Liam)

Through DARKNESS, THROUGH THE TREES (Liam)

Don’t ever give up on him

                                     (Liam)

 

Oh Liam,

The times I’ve wanted to text you

Thought I might end up with you

Certainly wanted to,

Sad to see you leaving